Thursday, January 9, 2014


Yes, i've gone back to my comfort zone of having straight hair since i was too lazy to maintain permed hair and it was looking really frizzy and dry.
Also because Tim prefers me in straight hair. And i'm a Tim-pleaser.

But anyhow, i was sitting 4 hours in a salon chair with an overzealous hairstylist and i was perfectly not up for hard selling. You know the kind where they tell you your hair is absolutely damaged to the max and you might as well go shave it all off but then there's this miraculous treatment that will help restore protein and keratin and whatnot hair jargon. And there's this promotion today that gives you great benefits and ... you get my drift. 

On a normal day, i'll be a salesperson's favourite kind of customer. The one that finds it very hard to say no to others. Even though i don't need it or want it, i'll usually end up signing up for some totally useless package that i end up wasting my money or go missing. But today, i was determined not to go for it. And do you know how many times i had to fend him off? 
At least 15 times. 
Out of all the hair stylists, i ended up with one very very hard seller. Even after i reluctantly agreed to a minor treatment instead of the one he was offering, he tried to push me to get a treatment package which can be paid in installments. Wtf seriously?

So, when i was fending off the hairstylist, one of the reasons i used was that i'm saving up for my future home. Of course i lied and said i was going to buy it this year and he said this 

"If you get a house, your boyfriend/husband should be paying for it, not you"

 "It's only right that a guy pays everything for a girl"

If some of you are going "i don't see anything wrong with what he said" 
Here you go

I think it's safe to say that at least half of the women in my generation are more than willing to pay for their share of the house. We are strong, independent and perfectly capable of holding our end in the world. We can juggle families, careers and our social lives all in one hand. We are not dowdy housewives (no offence) who stay at home and depend on our husbands to pay for everything and anything. 
No, the women of my generation earn their keep and contribute.

I personally know that i will feel accomplished and better knowing that i helped to pay for a house that i'll be living in instead of letting Tim pay for all of it and struggle with the burden. It will also be incredibly selfish of me to let him bear the full cost of starting our family when i can afford it.

A quick look at this 2012 post by a fellow Singaporean puts the cost of buying a regular $400,000k 4-room HDB flat to a $95k cash deposit and another $1600/mth for the next 30 years. If any guy has to bear that kind of burden and still pay for everything else while their wife lies in a puddle of  "her" money and manage not to be suicidal, i salute you.

The principle of "a guy should pay everything" labels any woman as selfish. You expect a guy to give you everything he has but you don't expect to give anything in return. And in all retrospect, i can't imagine the thought of someone happily enjoying their life, without having to pay a single cent for anything while their "loved" ones are ridden in debts and loans. If you are in love, then love should give you the common sense to see the hardships you are putting your significant other through. If you are in love, then love should let you possess the conscience to help him in any way you can.
If you can't understand this, then this isn't love.
This is materialism at it's finest. 

So guys, I'm just saying. 
Paying for the girl once in awhile is okay. 
Even carrying her bag once in awhile is okay. 
But if you are asked to pay for everything when she is more than capable of doing so, you better think twice.
Read classic case here

Till then,

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