Its almost the end of the year and i had this sudden urge to look through my blog and post something. Its seriously like a time capsule. Back there and then, things that i complained about seemed insignificant or words that i've said meant more now. I like looking through my posts. I like to see how i thought or felt last time and experience how much i've grown in the span of months or years.
There will always be things that i will regret having said or done or things that i will look back upon as fond memories. But this is my past and it moulds me into who i am today. It may make me stronger, it may wear me down. But my past is a part of me and will always be.
The person i am today was created by the person i was yesterday.
Sunday, June 5, 2011
With shadows overcast, i can barely breathe. And with every breath i take, it is stifling. Choking, heart accelerating, movements restricted, body degrading. Nothing is the same or will be the same. The past is dead and gone, the present is moving on too quickly, the future is soon near. Quietly, it creeps up to you, engulfing you, taking pleasure in watching you suffer. It consumes you, overwhelms you. laughs as you struggle and yet no one helps. It swallows your desperation, your pathetic state of self. You panic, lose control, start to fear, start to give up. This is what you deserve, this is what you did to yourself, this is your own fault.
I need a doctor.
I need a doctor.
Monday, May 16, 2011
Wednesday, May 11, 2011
21 and still not wiser. Doing things without thinking about the consequences. Hurting people without meaning to. Where has all my conscience gone. Left to deal with my own mistakes. Dont wanna make a wrong choice. Else, there will be nothing left. And that's a scary thought.