Monday, June 1, 2015


My character has always been one of impulsiveness. Sometimes it's a good thing, other times it's not. I like to call it my free spirit that leads me to make crazy, on the moment decisions and thankfully, i have yet to make any drastic decision that i've came to regret deeply. My latest decision was to explore another country on my own. In the back of my mind, it was a dream come true when i finally booked that single ticket to Japan this coming September. I have to say, it was more excitement than nerves clicking that buy button. The most anxiety came from actually wondering if i had managed to get my desired sale price. Hey, cheap flight tickets are a lot harder to buy because its a fastest fingers first competition. So sometimes i don't think, i just do it first and face the consequences later. 
You only live once.
I have my free spirit to thank for the many adventures it has brought me and the experiences i have encountered. 

My mother, on the other hand, has been excessively worried of my free spirit. Back in my younger days, she was always worried that my free spirit (or rather free mouth) would get me into trouble with the world. She worried less as i grew up, knowing that i was less likely to get into hooligan trouble at 25 but instead turn her concern into my constant wanting to take on an adventure, on my own. I know as a mother, it's genetically designed for her to never stop worrying about me but my mother can be vocal, more so when it's an issue she feels very strongly about and stubborn. Also, she can be dramatic and a wee bit exaggerated. 

In her head, my solo travel could lead to kidnaps and robberies and all sorts of misfortune that could ever befall someone. Think shark attacks, zombies, earthquakes and evil gang members. Also, she's convince that because i'm tinier than most, i'm a likelier target. (I'm sure my 149cm frame can cause some damage) Her fears to me, are not unfounded and I'm not denying that any of the stuff wouldn't happen to me. At the end, i don't want to let the fear of something bad happening stop me from ever venturing out to explore the world. I wouldn't ever neglect my safety in a foreign land. She should trust me. She raised me to be the person i am today. She knows me.

It's nothing personal and its not a rebellion.
It's just the way i think.

So far, she's only enabling me to go on this one solo trip but i'm not so certain i can obey. There are a lot of things i can learn on a solo expedition and so many more places i want to go. That's food for another thought and when that time comes, it's another battle to fight, another mountain to climb. I know that her fears for her free spirited child will never lessen or diminish, i just hope in time to come, she will understand.

Till then,