Friday, June 19, 2009

Mood: Reflective. Song: Casting crowns-Who am i.

Surrounded by the silence of the night.

I like moments like these. Moments when everyone else is sleeping and you can hear the stillness of everything. It feels like my moment, my time, my alone time. The period of silence, the soft sounds of my music, the gentle snoring of my sister reminds me that another day has passed, a new one is coming, an uncertain, unpredictable and new day.

My alone time got me watching ympact videos. Some i laughed at, some left me pondering and the one that left the most impression?

RAW camp photoslideshow.

RAW stands for Redemption At Work. Raw also meant being stripped clean, wiped away of all inhibitions, leaving one raw and unprotected, leaving a person's soul almost perfect, almost as if one is finally worthy, and truly worthy to be called a child of God. I didnt attend the camp for who knows what truly terrible and lousy excuse. Regretted it but there's no point crying over split milk. The twist was, i only felt the regret today. After a year. I felt the regret to attend RAW camp. As i mentioned, i saw the RAW camp photoslideshow. And it struck me so hard that i could see the clarity of everyones' passion for God. I saw emotions in faces as they genuinely asked for forgiveness for their sins. As they asked for redemption. I felt what they were feeling. It didnt matter that i didnt attend camp. It didnt matter that i have absolutely no idea what the sermon was about, what bible study they had, what quiet time they did. But i felt it. God speaking to all of them. God telling them to be the salt and light of this earth. God telling them to go and make disciples of all nations. Disciples of him. God telling them to bless people, to let the poor be rich and the weak be strong. I saw all of that. From photos. Either the photographer is downright fantastic or this is some weird unknown phenomenon. But i know better, i know God was working his way through these group of people to outreach to others, to let us know he is our refuge, our shelter from come what may. And as i felt all these emotions, i realised that even though i have been in PMC all my life, i have never ever felt this connected to God until last year. It took me 19 years of my life to find God. He never gave up on me, but guided me patiently to the path i was supposed to take, despite detours and losing my way. He never gave up.

This year has truly been a good year for me so far. I've regained things that i lost. I forged friendships for life. And i found God, back in my life. And i know he has bless me, even though i am a worthless sinner, unworthy to be called a child of God. And so i pray, for his guidance through all my life, that i will forever love him as my father in heaven, as my friend, as my mentor and as my God. For because of him, i am blessed with the things he has done for me, amazed by the miracles he unravels, and overjoyed at the happiness he has given to me. For he is my father, my God. And always and forever shall be.

i am yours.

Monday, June 1, 2009

The week summarised in a post

Back to school after a really good weekend. Kinda depressing. I left my wallet at my sister's chalet. So i couldnt sign in for attendance taking cause i didnt have my student card. Boyf was alone in town and i couldnt accompany him because of the horrendous palm taking screwed up machine. We have to take our attendance through palm scanning 3 times a day to prove you're in school. LIKE OMFG. cant even skip if i wanted to. Nb

Saturday was spent at my sister's 21st birthday bash which estimated a total whopping cost of 1.6K for expenses and she receiving almost 2K in cash gifts and presents. Like a dont know how many hundreds plus kate spade bag,a Titus diamond encrusted watch and many more. I havent seen all the presents yet. Lucky shit. Im so jealous. But my sister's awesome too because she gave me 50 bucks for being the photographer for the night. Dragging me out from my meals to help her snap shots and literally taking every single person in the room that walked through the doors. Felt like a bloody wedding reception. However, my 50bucks quickly ran out because i am so heavily in debt with my family! HAHA. owe money for my dad's christmas and birthday present, my mothers day present which i paid half already and my grandmother's mother day present. ohmygod, how am i gonna save at the rate im going. Melbourne trip, Studio Shots and rainy day money. Gone case.

Enough of ranting, Baby boy's sick and i want him to get well soon.