Wednesday, April 29, 2009

Lovers dont finally meet somewhere, They're in each other all along

Love is the scar on your knees, the leftover food in the refrigerator, the song the birds sings, the pain you inflict, the sweet nothingness which flutters from your lover's mouth, a half complete cigarette, the rainbow sprinkles on your cupcake. the sound of wind escaping through a small gap in your window, the dampness in your hair, the kisses you blow, the clothes you wear, the tingly feeling you get when you are touched at certain parts of your body, the tangles in your lover's hair, sleepless nights, backing out from consuming too much alcohol, being desired by multiple parties, watching the people screw up around you, making mistakes, making love, screaming out of your window in the middle of the night, sticking your head out of a moving car, traveling the distance that seems never unending, kissing someone you cant get enough of ...

No. Love is,
you, I and a careless mixture of everything else we worry about.

Tuesday, April 28, 2009

I've got so much work to do, to complete by this week. But i dont know where to start, and how to start and im so confused and lost about my school work.  Gotta go home and start on my use case modelling, RDD and program login page. No more facebook please.

So much to do, so little time.

Monday, April 27, 2009

Delicious ambiguity

Some stories dont have a clear beginning, middle or end. Life is about not knowing, having to change, taking the moment and making the best out of it, without knowing whats gonna happen next.

it feels so much better to have my head cleared and my heart at peace. Without you, i would be nothing.

" Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight. Do not be wise in your own eyes; fear the Lord and shun evil "

Proverbs 3: 5- 7

Sunday, April 26, 2009

Faith and Mercy

i thank Christ Jesus our Lord, who has given me strength that he considered me faithful, appointing me to his service. Even though i was once a blasphemer and a persecutor and a violent man. I was shown mercy because i acted in ignorance and unbelief. The grace of our Lord was poured out on me abundantly , along with the faith and love that are in Christ Jesus.

Here is a trustworthy saying that deserves full acceptance : Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners - of whom I am the worst. But for that very reason I was shown mercy so that in me, the worst of sinners, Christ Jesus might display his unlimited patience as an example for those who would believe on him and receive eternal life.

1:Timothy 1: 12-16

Today, I confessed i was a sinner. Today, I committed my life to God. Today, I wanted the holy spirit to come into me. Today, I wanted to be worthy of being called a child of God. Today, God showed me mercy.

Today, I was saved
i dont know what to say. my mind's in a whirl now. every now and then, i 've made mistakes. but this has got to be the biggest one yet. im just hoping and praying that stuff wont happen.

its been a long time since i've felt screwed up. this is one of those big moments.

Friday, April 17, 2009

let God be the judge of me

its been so long since i last updated. everyday seems so busy now. it seems like i have an endless load of things to do and so little time. im backsliding in dance, i need more time with daniel, i got to start on my fyp and i want to start doing things that i've never got around to doing and i want to make more new friends and catch up with the old ones and i want to spend more time with my family.

this holiday has drifted me apart from friends and brought me to new ones. im thankful for everything thats been working well in my life. all the little hiccups that were resolved and all the fun i had. i realised that i've really stopped knowing whats happening in my friends' lives because i've been so caught up in my own and the new friends. thinking back, i do feel guilty. im not the melissa i once was. strangely the things that used to interest me back then and in which i thought was cool no longer is to me. i went back to the kind of lifestyle i once lived for when i went for b's 19th chalet. and all they talk about was drinking and clubbing and smoking. that used to have such an influence on me. now, its just nothing. 2 days ago , i realised clubbing wasnt worth me risking so much to get into trouble, with my parents, with my boyfriend and with myself. i know im a lousy alcoholic and i know i will regret the things i do if i get drunk. hell, i wont even know what i'll do. im starting to think through my life. its like i've matured in mentality wise. i know how to think for myself now i know how to resist temptation and though i may suck at it, at least im giving it a try. i dont know. the new year for some has been bad and for others good, to me i guessed mine was definitely a pleasant surprise and a good thing. i've changed, for better or for worse. let God be the judge of that.


so induction program has been fun. i hope moggo2 enjoyed themselves though i kinda doubt so :/

lets hope it gets better tmr

Saturday, April 4, 2009

back from camps and tired stiff like nobody's business.

FOC Egypt Crew is Cool! and 3DO Devils!