Friday, April 17, 2009

let God be the judge of me

its been so long since i last updated. everyday seems so busy now. it seems like i have an endless load of things to do and so little time. im backsliding in dance, i need more time with daniel, i got to start on my fyp and i want to start doing things that i've never got around to doing and i want to make more new friends and catch up with the old ones and i want to spend more time with my family.

this holiday has drifted me apart from friends and brought me to new ones. im thankful for everything thats been working well in my life. all the little hiccups that were resolved and all the fun i had. i realised that i've really stopped knowing whats happening in my friends' lives because i've been so caught up in my own and the new friends. thinking back, i do feel guilty. im not the melissa i once was. strangely the things that used to interest me back then and in which i thought was cool no longer is to me. i went back to the kind of lifestyle i once lived for when i went for b's 19th chalet. and all they talk about was drinking and clubbing and smoking. that used to have such an influence on me. now, its just nothing. 2 days ago , i realised clubbing wasnt worth me risking so much to get into trouble, with my parents, with my boyfriend and with myself. i know im a lousy alcoholic and i know i will regret the things i do if i get drunk. hell, i wont even know what i'll do. im starting to think through my life. its like i've matured in mentality wise. i know how to think for myself now i know how to resist temptation and though i may suck at it, at least im giving it a try. i dont know. the new year for some has been bad and for others good, to me i guessed mine was definitely a pleasant surprise and a good thing. i've changed, for better or for worse. let God be the judge of that.


so induction program has been fun. i hope moggo2 enjoyed themselves though i kinda doubt so :/

lets hope it gets better tmr

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