Friday, January 17, 2014

SPENDING TIME TOGETHER AND APART


As a couple, Tim and i enjoy spending time with each other shopping, travelling or just relaxing at home. 
But as a person, Tim and i are nothing alike. 

I like to think that i'm an extrovert, easy-going person. I am spontaneous, impulsive, don't think before i speak and most times, irresponsible. I am also stubborn, quick-tempered and can be extremely sarcastic when i want to. Now if i were to describe Tim based on how i know him, i would say that he's meticulous, needs time to warm up to somebody, hates last minute plans, thinks before he speaks, plans everything carefully and is very responsible. He is also stubborn and does not like to be forced to do anything he doesn't want to. 

Hobbies wise, Tim is a huge movie buff, the kind that needs to see a movie at least once a week. Me? Not so much, if i remember about it then i'll try to download it on torrent otherwise, no big deal. He likes dull manochrome (i call it manochrome cause most guys like monochrome shades) colours while i gravitate towards anything loud, whimsical and bright. He likes steak, i don't really like meat and so on...

Despite all our differences, we genuinely enjoy our time together (ABC Dating and all), but at the same time we also try to encourage each other to spend alone time with our respective friends. The friends that can accept and share our individual personalities. Tim has his own group of buddies that he plays ball with, plans midnight birthday surprises and watch chinese movies that i have no interest in  and i have my friends that scream and hug when we see each other or jokingly put me down for my height (Chubbs, thats you). 

It's also been really thankful that Tim and i have a mutual group of friends that we can spend our alone time and together time with. Hello Sexy Sixsome! So over dinner, we'll catch up on our lives and then in the toilet, the girls will gossip and the guys will wait outside and chitchat.

The perfect arrangement. 

So yes, i feel that having alone time apart for each other is good for us, as long as we do it in healthy doses, and i don't try to take that away from him. Trust me when i say not every girl who says to a guy "Sure, i don't mind you spending time with your friends..." wants it to be translated as "If you go... this is over" + evil stare.

"Don't be a couple joined at the hip"

I believe that it is essential for every individual in a committed relationship to have their own time. Because even the most perfect relationship can crumble from the stress of doing everything together or the resentment and hatred that comes with giving up your social life in order to please your significant other. But instead, be two independent individuals that enjoy each other's company while maintaining your respective interests. 

That, to me is how a relationship will work.

Till then,
Melissa





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