TIME CAPSULE

Almost one year later, i come back to this space to pen my thoughts again.

From 2016 to right now, the start of 2017, so many things have happened in my life. I've went through the daily grind of being a "responsible adult" and I feel like i've grown up in so many ways. And yet i can't say where exactly what is different about me so in that case, maybe i haven't grown or changed at all.

I guess this is a letter of some sorts for me to remind myself of what i've been through.

To my self:

At 25, you were obsessed for all the wrong reasons. You wanted to get married early, you wanted to buy a house and you wanted to settle down because everyone was doing the same. You thought you was so ready for that aspect of your life and you couldn't see past all the fog to look at how un-ready you actually were.  Even though your relationship was fine on the surface, you pressured too much to the point that it might have been suffocating for your other half. You wanted to settle down and get married and be a grown up and yet you didn't have the mentality of one. You had no savings, you still wanted to play too much and you just wasn't ready both financially and mentally to be in the place you desired. You were lucky enough that you had a sensible other half who was eventually able to get through to you about what you wanted and not what you thought you wanted. Despite all your fickle mindedness and impulsiveness, you were lucky not to lose him.

At 26, you took a step back and finally identified with yourself. You embarked on your first solo trip and while invigorating as that might have been, you constantly lived in the past. You had a great job, great bosses and a comfortable working environment and yet you still felt like that wasn't enough. You hovered between getting another degree to joining the army to working overseas. And while all the circumstances of each thought didn't work out for you, you sought to find new alternatives and people called you "fickle". Funny how people loved to judge you for every decision you make. And yet you've managed held your head high and continue to trudge through life. Kudos for that. You learned a new language and till date you are still doing a half-arsed job about learning and its time that you take what you are doing seriously. You went back to dance and i think it became one of the highlights during your life as a 26 year old. Sure you were decades older than all the kids in the class but you found once again the passion you had as a young adult. And even though you are still a mediocre dancer as you previously were, you are still pretty happy about dancing again.

You also start obsessing over a group of young KPOP idol boys and indulged in midnight runs of dramas. "Shame" on you :x

Now at 27 and you feel so damn old but it's about time you make some good decisions despite all the silly and bad decisions you will eventually make.The year is just starting and it holds a lot of promise for you. And while the future is relatively unknown, know that you decide your own path and you set your own pace. With that, my own advice from a 26 year old to a 27 year old is to live vicariously, constantly learn from others, stop judging, be kinder and for goodness sakes, start saving.

Till then,

Melissa 

ONE YEAR LATER

One year later from when i last posted my free spirit post, i came back to this blog to jot down my thoughts of finally embarking on my solo trip to Korea. 

Let me just say that solo travel was everything i thought it would be and actually so much more. There is a kind of liberation that comes along with the trip. I finally felt like i'm really all grown up and independent by taking on this trip. I love the schedule-free itinerary that i set myself up for. It's that kind of reckless spontaneity that i can choose anything i want to do, whenever i want and that to me was oddly satisfying. I know people who find satisfaction in having a plan, having a schedule and would completely abhor my kind of travel but i'm the exact opposite of that. I find the thrill in having no concrete plans, leaving my day to be exactly as aimless as it is and then going to all these little random places and seeing them for the beauty that it is. 

Growing up, you always need to have some sort of plan. Be it your school plan, your career plan or your family plan. Everyone just sorts of expects you to have a plan in your life, get married at 28, start a family at 30 etc. So while in my daily life, i'm conforming to society needing me to have a plan at all steps of my life, i immediately head the opposite direction in not having a plan when i travelled. It was a less stressful, more freeing kind of environment for me and i took immense pleasure in my spontaneity and the little moments that came about.

If i wanted to, i stayed at a beachside cafe for hours talking to random strangers and watching the view. Other places, i stayed for 10 minutes, trying to avoid the busload of tourists. Sometimes, i didn't feel like taking pictures of the place but chose to capture the picture in my mind. Like a secret place that nobody could see except me. I liked the localised places, places where the foreigners aren't many and all the tourist traps of being a tourist attractions are few. I liked hearing them talk in their language and take their selfies among instagram-worthy backdrops. The Koreans i encountered on this trip were all polite and helpful to me, to a point where i felt overly welcomed and inclined to stay in their country.

Korea was a great first experience for me, being on my own. In future when i do come back to this blog, i certainly hope that my life would be exactly as i wanted it to be.

Till then,

Melissa

FREE SPIRIT

My character has always been one of impulsiveness. Sometimes it's a good thing, other times it's not. I like to call it my free spirit that leads me to make crazy, on the moment decisions and thankfully, i have yet to make any drastic decision that i've came to regret deeply. My latest decision was to explore another country on my own. In the back of my mind, it was a dream come true when i finally booked that single ticket to Japan this coming September. I have to say, it was more excitement than nerves clicking that buy button. The most anxiety came from actually wondering if i had managed to get my desired sale price. Hey, cheap flight tickets are a lot harder to buy because its a fastest fingers first competition. So sometimes i don't think, i just do it first and face the consequences later. 

You only live once.

I have my free spirit to thank for the many adventures it has brought me and the experiences i have encountered. 

My mother, on the other hand, has been excessively worried of my free spirit. Back in my younger days, she was always worried that my free spirit (or rather free mouth) would get me into trouble with the world. She worried less as i grew up, knowing that i was less likely to get into hooligan trouble at 25 but instead turn her concern into my constant wanting to take on an adventure, on my own. I know as a mother, it's genetically designed for her to never stop worrying about me but my mother can be vocal, more so when it's an issue she feels very strongly about and stubborn. Also, she can be dramatic and a wee bit exaggerated. 

In her head, my solo travel could lead to kidnaps and robberies and all sorts of misfortune that could ever befall someone. Think shark attacks, zombies, earthquakes and evil gang members. Also, she's convince that because i'm tinier than most, i'm a likelier target. (I'm sure my 149cm frame can cause some damage) Her fears to me, are not unfounded and I'm not denying that any of the stuff wouldn't happen to me. At the end, i don't want to let the fear of something bad happening stop me from ever venturing out to explore the world. I wouldn't ever neglect my safety in a foreign land. She should trust me. She raised me to be the person i am today. She knows me.

It's nothing personal and its not a rebellion.

It's just the way i think.

So far, she's only enabling me to go on this one solo trip but i'm not so certain i can obey. There are a lot of things i can learn on a solo expedition and so many more places i want to go. That's food for another thought and when that time comes, it's another battle to fight, another mountain to climb. I know that her fears for her free spirited child will never lessen or diminish, i just hope in time to come, she will understand.

Till then,

Melissa

TRAVELOGUE 2015: TOURING WESTERN AUSTRALIA

Australia never fails to surprise me every single time i fly in for a vacation. It has been a breath of fresh air to visit Perth and its surroundings once more and taking the opportunity to explore much more of WA than the previous visits.

Revisiting old haunts and taking in new sceneries. 

I could really live like this. I wouldn't know how long i would be able to survive in a completely different environment comparing to Singapore. After all, a good quarter of my life was spent being raised in a metropolitan fast-paced city. But i would really love to give it a shot should the opportunity arises. 

This time around, i took my parents around the sightseeing tour and felt that 11 days were way too short for us to complete everything. I don't know how time seemed to pass essentially so quickly that we barely managed to reached the South. I would have to do a better planning the next time around just because my parents were impressed by WA too and are planning a complete family holiday to include my siblings. The dad and i also took a road trip up North to the Golden Outback and thoroughly enjoyed every single location we've visited. The weather was great, the skies were blue, the view always stunning and the people, friendly as always.

WA had left a really lasting impression on me and this is a place i wouldn't mind visiting time and time again just to explore the variety that it has to offer. 

A quick snapshot of some of the places we had visited. 

Definitely highly recommended.

Donnybrook Organic Spring Orchard

 Donnybrook Organic Spring Orchard

 Donnybrook Organic Spring Orchard

Busselton Jetty

Busselton Jetty

Kings Park

London Court

Serpentine National Park

Serpentine National Park

Serpentine National Park

Swan River

Swan River

Fremantle

Fremantle

Fremantle

Crawley's Boat House

Cottesloe Beach

 Cottesloe Beach

Are you not impressed?

The road trip up North will be next.

Till then,

Mel 

ONE OF THOSE DAYS

Today was one of those days. I intended to start the week right with positivity and cheerfulness. But now and then we meet one of those days where everything goes wrong and suddenly your spirit takes a hit and sadly for me, today was one of those days. 

It started off in the morning and dragged on all the way to the end of my day. And at 6pm, i was drained both mentally and physically. 

And its only Tuesday. 

Looking at happy photos of Tim and I for that much needed morale boost.

Here comes Wednesday.

Till then,

Melissa

MARCH EXPERIMENTS: SUN, SAND AND A NEW BLOG HEADER

I said i would go to the beach. 

And so i did.

If you have also noticed the change in my blog header, you would have known that its way nicer than my previous one and way more professional. Obviously because it's not done by me but rather, hand-drawn by my talented friend, Ellia! (@ellialynleow) If you are interested in her art pieces, please go to her online store to pick up a few of her works because they're great and reasonably priced for each piece! 

If you're more interested in getting something customised to your preferences, you can get in touch with her at her email: ellialynleow@gmail.com or her Facebook page at the following link:

https://www.facebook.com/Elliawrites

Till then,

Melissa

MARCH EXPERIMENTS: LOVE PORTRAITS

I've always been up for trying something new in my life. Adventurous of some sorts but i like experiencing new hobbies more than i love trying new foods. When it comes to food, i'm a stickler for my favourites. But with hobbies, I am probably the total opposite. 

This time around, i explored my non-existent artistic side. And with Tim as my trusty aide, we went to a "Love Portraits" workshop by artist Puffing Muffin held at a charming quaint studio at Rowell Street. I had chanced upon her work at flea markets previously and followed her on her Instagram (@puffingmuffin). So when i learned that she had this workshop coming up, i thought it would be a good learning experience to learn from an artist whose works i had grown to admire. 

Lucinda, the owner of the studio and the website (http://www.within.sg) is an impeccable lady and artist that oozes warmth and comfort. One day prior to the workshop, she sends me an email, welcoming and thanking me for being part of the workshop. What she didn't know was that at the end of the workshop that she had organised, i would be the one thanking her and Candice (Puffing Muffin) for imparting me with information and trade secrets to being my own kind of artist. 

On the day of the workshop, Tim and i walked through the streets of Little India searching for the studio, and discovered treasure troves hidden there. A fat dog resting here, a graffiti art wall there, the dim sum restaurant where we first ate together as a couple and so many more little things. Little India, undoubtedly holds the most memories for me being together with Tim. We found the studio, and Lucinda welcomes us into the warm space. Everything is set up nicely on the table for us. Markers, pencils, colouring tools and everything needed for us to create our love portraits and then we start, going a round to introduce ourselves. 

There are a lot of laughs going on, this group is not awkward and quiet like other groups i've known.

It's a good start. 

The workshop begins and soon enough, i am engrossed completely. Learning mathematical ratios to face structures and key features to a person's portrait. It is an eye opening and informative experience. Candice does a demonstration and we take it all in. As the time came for us to venture on our own, there are a lot more laughs going on. Tim and i decide to draw each other and obviously, i am a lot more vocal in the way i want him to draw me. 

"How does that look like me?!"

"Can you not give me such a square jaw, i want a sharper chin!"

"I want wind-blown hair"

"My face looks weird"

It turns out, my attempt at him, was a feeble one as well. He came out looking like a gothic mime in my opinion. The second one was much better, if you compare it with the first. After some time and colouring techniques from Candice, our final product was done. I think ultimately, Tim did a better job than i did. In mine, he came out looking way too much like a pretty boy with eyeliner. *chuckles* 

Our group did well with some truly outstanding artists. Putting our work next to them was a little nerve wrecking. But we did it and Tim and i completed our first ever love portraits of each other. Not too bad if i do say so myself. Lucinda showed us into her secret garden in the backyard and after the photo taking session, we ended the class. Went for a late dinner at the dim sum restaurant before eventually calling it a night. 

And it was a great night.

Till then,

Melissa

MARCH WORD EXPERIMENTS: GETTING SOME SUN

I miss the beach

Miss getting wet, the sun in my eyes and sand in between my toes. I'm all about ready to turn into a beach bum and then i think, tomorrow is Monday. 

Deep sighs.

Maybe i'll head to the beach this coming weekend, and do a little nature walk or something. I'm itching to get out and do something that requires me to pant a little harder and sweat a little more. I need to move around more. I've been spending a lot of lazy time back at home lately and some days, it's a good thing i tell myself. I need the time off. I need the breathing space. Other days, i just feel like i should be up and moving. Out there getting some sunshine on my face, looking at nature at its best, and getting that laid-back beach vibe. 

Weird, spontaneous and impulsive.
 That's exactly who i am. 

Good thing or bad thing, i can't really decide. All i know is, I vow to get some sun this week!

Tomorrow's Monday guys, good luck everyone.

Till then,

Mel

MARCH WORD EXPERIMENTS: FINDING YOURSELF

Thoughts for the day: Anyone ever mentioned how hard growing up was going to be? 

  In our lives, at some point in time, we all meet that someone. The one with all the right words and all the sweet gestures meant to sweep you off your feet. The one who makes everything feel right when you are together. He's your happily ever after, the Mr. Right you've been waiting for all your life. And then by some hook or crook, this nice guy falls through the cracks. He's hard to get ahold of, he doesn't respond with the same enthusiasm as he once did and he has tons of excuses. 

The nice guy gone wrong. 

The nice guy who only enjoys the chase. 

Stupid nice guy. 

 You know the saying.  

Fool me once, shame on you, 

Fool me twice, shame on me

Guys like these at that stage are worth nothing. Not your thoughts, not your tears and definitely not your heart. I'm not saying all guys behave like this, but some guys are. With the benefit of the doubt, they might change in time to come, with experience and a few heartbreaks under their belt, but until that time arrives, the guy who ignored your message the day before because he was "busy" will not be the one you will spend your whole life with. Busy is and will never be an excuse to someone of value.

Everyone deserves a special someone in their life. You will find that in time to come, without the stupid nice guy. You will meet someone nicer, more sincere and much more real who will sweep you off your feet and make you feel like the luckiest person in the world. But until your Mr Right comes along, you have your whole life ahead of you. Take up a new hobby, open your mind to brand new experiences and live life, happier each day. Somewhere along the way, you will get the chance to meet your true self, who you really are deep down inside, the self you might have lost along the way with stupid nice guy. And when you find yourself behind all those walls and facades that you've built up, you will feel amazing. 

Because the best way to take revenge on someone, is to show them precisely what they had and what they've lost. 

Eat that suckers. 

Till then,

Mel

MARCH WORD EXPERIMENT: PRIORITIES

Its funny how our priorities can change as we age. And its funny how the things that people told you before, the life quotes that made you roll your eyes and exclaim loudly that it was going to be different for you because of how much you were in control of your life at 16 years old, actually come true. And right at that moment, you finally realise that you really don't have as much control over life as you think you do. 

A couple of months back at 24 years, i decided to skip the usual circle of life and travel around the world while i still could. I had the entire works in my head. The grandeur dreams of quitting my job and taking on a backpack much larger than my self to expose myself to the cultures and traditions of the world. At 24, i was all about living life one day at a time. It was the time to bask in my youth and my ability for non-committal travelling.

 I had no baggage, i had no commitments.

I was good to go. 

Procrastination aside, i didn't quit my job and i didn't buy a backpack too large for my size to handle. So 2014 passed by just like that. 

At age 25, i took action. 

I signed up for whatever i needed to, went to the appropriate agencies and got the approvals. I was going, this was actually happening. And then a funny thing happen. One fine day, while mentally noting the things i had to do, i realised that i didn't want to go. It came out of nowhere and just hit me, this weird intoxicating and yet gratifying feeling. I didn't want to leave anymore. Which is seemingly mental considering i've been spending the better half of my years dreaming about leaving. And in close to 3 days worth of thoughts, i completely put the notion out of my head and let it go. 

It really got me thinking as to what changed in my life for me to make a 180 turn in my mindset and in my thoughts. And for a while, i couldn't figure it out. There was nothing stopping me this time. My parents were supportive, Tim was supportive and i told all my close friends. Nothing in my life was different, but my mindset had taken a different mind on its own. As i grew up, i realised that my priorities had changed purely because i've changed as a person. I didn't need any drastic event to make a difference, i simply grew up. 

I grew up realising the importance of my family, my friends and my relationships here. Everything at my life was a constant but my thinking was a variable. It was only because i changed as a person, so did my mentality, my dreams and my goals. They all changed. I learned to appreciate what i had now instead of reaching out to appreciate something much further away. I learned to be thankful for the support i've received that makes me want to repay each and every person with ten-fold of that very same support. And for the people who stood behind me in every single decision that i made, patiently waiting for the day that i would come to truly understand and appreciate their value in my life. 

For that i am ever grateful.

"As i grew up, i realised that my priorities had changed. But it was only because i changed as a person, so did my mentality, my dreams and my goals. They all changed."

My first proper post back is kinda wordy without my usual self-obsessed pictures but this is one of those special posts that holds a lot of sentimental value for me. The precise reason why i started this space was to jot down the things that matter to me, so that when i get too complacent or ungrateful in life, i can look back and reflect on the mentality i had while typing this. 

My thoughts, my feelings and my reasoning. 

It's good to be back.

Till then,

Mel