monday all over again

its monday. its school. i dread school.

My fyp is making me all jittery cause of how backward i am, how clueless i am and how stupid i feel. Kinda sucks, knowing that i need help for almost everything. I really just wanna pass this and get my diploma and graduate. Then i'll go to uni and study a whole new thing. Kinda looking forward to next year actually. The time i get to graduate, the maybe melbourne trip with sam and van and the thought of embarking on something newer and more exciting for my career. My future still seems bleak. i have no ambition. i dont know what to do with my life. So im taking each step as i go on this journey and maybe, just maybe, at the end i'll find something fufilling and worthwhile to me. Currently, im just studying my options in university. But right now, i should actually strive to complete my FYP. its crucial.

My leg's itching damn badly again, like holy crap omfg kind of itchy. Wonder if its linked to not taking my antibiotics yesterday :/ So im scratching like mad and its red again and it feels like 3 days of medicine gone down to waste.

Stop scratching.

Well. i have this insect bite which i thought was a mosquito bite, which i went to scratched and it became swollen and inflamed and infected and ass-whopping painful and kinda rendered me crippled. So i went to see the doctor and she gave me 50 bucks worth of medicine and an MC.

it wasnt a mosquito bite. i got bitten on a bus. I hate the creature that bit me. Stupid thing wasted 50 bucks.

We're barely there.

The day's almost over and all i've heard from you is a morning text. I miss you badly and i dont know what you're doing. Busy probably. Almost hate the fact that we're so distant from each other. What i'd give to see you now. But i bet you wont like what you see. Exhaustion and tiredness written all over my face. It scares me to say how much i need you. It scares me a lot. Im struggling so much internally. I need strength. Where do i find strength?

This day's almost over. Maybe tomorrow will be better

so this is what forgotten feels like

I spent the entire day doing nothing. I feel damn pissed at myself for not being able to concentrate on my project. My assignments are overdue. and im still facebooking. Damn it. When will i get the motivation to continue on this educational journey of mine. I cant stand it. I need to get some work done.

daniel wants me to think that cramps are good. Damn, he's cute :D

Words of Affirmation.

Sometimes, people surprise you and they turn up happening to be the best damn surprise ever. Sometimes, your stuffed animal is your best friend. Sometimes, your bed is the nicest place on earth. Sometimes, people care. Sometimes, pain is absolutely beautiful. Sometimes, a movie makes you cry. Sometimes, love is all around you. Sometimes, the clouds in the sky are moving so slowly that you think time is standing still. Sometimes, things change. Sometimes, you achieve things that never seemed possible. Sometimes, something people says is exactly what you needed to hear. Sometimes, colors seemed brighter and more beautiful than it ever was.

Sometimes, i wish i could spend eternity with you. Sometimes, just sometime, maybe someday, the world would just be me and you.